Dear Laptop American,
I'm sorry to report that we have experienced a massive techology infastructure failure, which is why you have not received your Daily Action Reports as promised.
I am working to resolve the problem as quickly as possible. But it now appears it could take several more days to be up and running again -- this time with adequate redundancy, I assure you.
Please accept my apology for this interruption of Laptop services. With so many urgent issues at hand, I know this comes at a bad time, so I will get it resolved ASAP.
Thank you for your forebearance, and all that you do for our country, our cause -- and Laptop America.
God bless you.
Faithfully,
Carter Clews
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